The Good, The Bad, and The Ex

So, Ezekiel, who was extatic about moving and the new room etc. . . is having serious issues now. All of his issues seem to stem from mind games that his father is playing with him on their visits.

For those of you who do not know let me give you a little background (in other words -- I am going to VENT now)-- Rusty and Zeke see their father for about 2 days a month. He does not attend ANY of their school functions or sporting events and will not allow them to go to birthday parties, sleepovers, end of the year sports parties etc. . . if it is "his time" with them. He has bought them a sum total a 2 pair of shoes and a few cheap Christmas toys in the past 3 years. They have slept on the floor, futon or bean bag during every visit with him for the past 3 years, and he rarely takes them anywhere to do anything -- free or otherwise. All the while making over 40K a year -- claiming to them that he is broke and that it is because I take all his money. Oh yeah, until February of this year he paid only $200 a month TOTAL for child support. Now he pays $350/month and is thousands in arears so the State garnishes his pay to ensure he pays it monthly. He has had nearly 15 internet girlfriends in the last 3 years -- all of them he requires the boys to talk to over the phone. Four he has actually proposed to the very first time they met in person ( all rejected ). Now appearantly he has met a woman who is not a believer, has 2 children (17 and 7 ) by two different other men. He met her 3 weeks ago. Introduced the kids to her this past weekend, and has informed them to get used to it because it is probably going to be permenant. Oh yeah did I mention that this upstanding Christian man who is a leader in his church had my children sleep at her house on the couch while he and she slept in the "adult bedroom".

Meanwhile, since the first visitation he had with the boys, after I told him we were moving, he has been playing mind games with Ezekiel. Zeke is very sensitive to other peoples feelings. Although, like all children he can and does cause conflict, deep down he is a conflict avoider. His father has been making him feel guilty about moving and trying to coax him to come live with him for the past month. Ezekiel, spends days after every visit crying about not wanting to move. It makes me so angry, and frustrated. I don't know what to say to him. For now I just pray that the move comes quickly, and that his father doesn't do too much damage in his 2 week visitation just prior to the move. I really have a hard time understanding his anxiety because week to week the boys don't even want to go to his house. It is so unfair of him to make Zeke feel guilty or bad about the move.

I guess that is enough of that. Tomorrow morning Chris closes on our home in West Virginia. Everything is going well. I just wish I could say we are all excited. Well, most of us are anyway, and those who aren't will just have to realize that life is just that way sometimes.

Caden is really enjoying his new found freedom with his tongue. It took him a couple days to realize what he could do with it, and now it is out of his mouth constantly. If he isn't licking something then he is sticking it out and playing with it etc. . . It is so cute. He has become much more talkative and is saying a few more words clearly enough to understand now. He is also, eating much better now. I am a little worried about getting the hospital bill for the surgery. After all , the "office visit" to consult with the specialist for 5 minutes in his office -- cost $500.

Chris and I had another very productive weekend getting things done around the house, and still managed to take the boys out to see Spiderman 3 -- Well at least 3 of us saw it. I ended up pulling Caden duty in the hallway for about 1/3 of the movie. So much for the days of him falling asleep in the movie.